If my silly little ego thought it was conceivable that all of me would actually accept a subpar, surface-skimming ceremony on my 34th birthday. . .well, she had a vision-filled wild awakening hot on her heels. Yes, I had admittedly wasted the better half of this cosmic ceremony, consumed by fears that I’d return to [...]
Archive for the ‘Ayahuasca Ceremonies’ Category
Ayahuasca Ceremony #20, Part 2: Kisses, Fear-Smashing, and Birthday Cake
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged 34th Birthday, Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Birthday Party, Cleansing, Purging, Sacred Plants, Sacred Vine, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremony, Shamanism, Strong Black Vine on July 27, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Ayahuasca Ceremony #20, Part 1: No Sign of Submission
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Altered states, Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Ayahuasca Shamanism, entheogen, entheogens, Sacred Plants, Shaman, Shamans on July 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Twenty ceremonies. That’s a lot of dancing with the sacred vine. It’s a normal assumption that many cast my way – surely the training wheels are off now, sweet girl. Surely you know how to let go. To go deep. To be not afraid. And yet, that’s not how these energies work. It seems the [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #19, Part 4: Love Stops the War
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Altered states, Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremony, Ayahuasca Shamanism, Healing, Healing Rituals, Meditation, Rituals, Sacred Plants, Shaman, Shamanism on July 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My 19th Ayahuasca ceremony had drawn to a non-dramatic yet truly painful close. We had all assembled around the burning candles and cozied up close to the Shaman. Stories were revealed. Revelations and struggles laid across our laps like blankets. No matter how nightmarish the journey may have been, we felt cocooned and safe. The [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #19, Part 3: The First Time I Almost Died
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Altered states, Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Ego, Enlightenment, Sacred Plants, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on June 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
At this point, the ceremony held the usual litany of intense emotional spewings, a smattering of cosmic visions, loads of profound lessons, and the added (bonus) of some seriously critical brain-sourced judgments and critiques. There were times my head was so full of screaming dialogue, I thought I might drown in the negativity. But this [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #19 Part 2: No Bucket Required
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremony, Ayahuasca Shaman, Ayahuasqero, purge, Purging, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on June 15, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It’s been established, then, that I was in no mood to revisit the depths of my darkness as ceremony 19 spiraled into reality. And yet I know that control, albeit always an illusion, is really a pipe dream when one ingests the never-subtle goddess Aya. I felt mildly comforted by the presence of so many [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #19 Part 1: I Did Not Go Gently Into That Good Night
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Ayahuasca Shamanism, Control, Fears, Letting Go, Primal Fears, Shamanism, Shamanistic Ceremonies, Terror on June 5, 2009 | 1 Comment »
It’s no secret that my March Ayahuasca sessions did a serious number on my psyche. I talked a little too much about how terrifying ceremony #18 was for me – the near psychotic break left me humbled and dazed and. . .shit, just stone-cold freak-a-fide. I thought I had wafted past all of the fearful [...]
Cycle 6: These are My Intentions
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Huachuma Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Ayahuasca Shamanism, Huachuma, Huachuma Ceremonies, San Pedro, Shaman, Shamanism on May 28, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Two days from now, I will be falling back into the cosmic, healing embrace of Mother Ayahuasca. I am no stranger to shamanic journeys, to soirees with the helper plants, and yet, I’m back into the space of knowing next to nothing. There’s a clean slate glowing behind my mind’s eye, and it’s waiting for [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #18 Part 3: Blissful Detachment
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Agony and Ecstasy, Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Detachment, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on May 11, 2009 | 1 Comment »
After powering through the absolutely worst, most nightmarish 90 minutes of my life so far, I found the trip back to the ceremonial circle to be pure bliss. I walked from the tiny bathroom to my spot in the space with a poundy little purpose – excited to feel such a tremendous release from my [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #18 Part 2: Calling All Saviors
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Divinity, Enlightenment, Fear, Help, Psychotic Break, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism, Terror on April 29, 2009 | 3 Comments »
There I was, drowning in the metaphorical blackness of my most nightmarish Ayahuasca ceremony. Confronting the deepest layer of my madness. Wondering if I would survive. If I even wanted to anymore. And the only thing I could think of doing to help myself was . . . to ask for help. Throw out an [...]
Ayahuasca Ceremony #18 Part 1: Screaming for a Life Raft
Posted in Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Fear, Panic, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism, Shamans, Terror on April 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The day between ceremony 17 and 18, in retrospect, felt like the ending / beginning of Gaspar Noe’s emotional onslaught film “Irreversible”. Full of sweet innocence, naps in a sunshine drenched park, organic eats with radiant beings. We all quietly frolicked in our aftermaths, some of us touting a few battle scars, but with excited [...]
