With no new shaman ceremonies to relay (next scheduled session is in October), it’s time to outline the implications of trandscendent deep dives. Not all the outcomes feel favorable to the still-attached self. But on closer inspection, it’s abundantly clear there is no such thing as an outcome that isn’t a blessing when looked upon [...]
Archive for the ‘Aftermaths and In-Betweens’ Category
Ayahuasca, You May Have This
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Shamanism, Detachment, Mother Ayahuasca, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on May 29, 2009 | 2 Comments »
An open letter to my spirit mother I will be with you again tomorrow night. Our nineteenth dance, followed by the twentieth. There’s a corner in there. I am turning already. I bring to you all of me – not just the select bits I’ve offered up in the past. It’s effortless with the painful [...]
Losing My Identity, Finding a Whole Lotta Love
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Ayahuasca Shamanism, Bliss, Freedom, Love, Self-Love, Shamanism on May 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Ayahuasaca ceremonies #19 and #20 are just 2 weeks away. Just 2 weeks, that’s all I have to prepare, to get centered, to declare my intentions, to face my demons, and to do my best to fully surrender to the process. I wasn’t pious enough during my last journey with her, and I’m immensely humbled [...]
The Accelerated Heart-Truth
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, tagged Ayahuasca, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Falling in Love, Love, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on March 12, 2009 | 1 Comment »
It’s time to out myself. For a few weeks now, there’s been a seething, beautiful truth that’s been kept under the folds of inquiries, tucked down inside the feathery embrace of a sacred little secret. I have fallen in love. It’s never been the case before that my heart should tumble and I would keep [...]
Cleanse Day 8: Blissed and Blessed Out
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, tagged Ayahuasca, Blessings, Shaman, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on March 5, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I can’t remember a more beautiful day. Vegas is starting to amp up the heat factor – the harsh chill is a distant memory, the sky is positively glowing with indigos and oranges, and I am being dosed with blessings. The greatest news possible just landed. Something I have prayed for, declared to the universe [...]
Cleanse Day 6: Emotions and Ethers
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, tagged Ayahuasca, Emotions, Feeling, Healing, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on March 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Today, I am my emotions. I am the fear I hide from, the jealousy I try so hard to deny, the undeniable surge of sadness that so often goes nameless within. At the same time, I am blissful to release and honor these waves. I sit here in complete lethargy, locked into a frozen state, [...]
Defining the Truthful / Feeling Game
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Ayahuasca, Feeling, Healing, Resistance, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism, Truth on February 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
It’s a topic I’ve typed out a thousand times or more – truth-talk. The definition of truth. My own personal journey with uncovering what’s Real. Even my first novel encompasses this theme, and I recognize this to be one of my biggest lessons in this embodiment. I am so hungry for the integration of self-realization, [...]
I Am Not The Same
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, Ashram Adventures on February 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Healer came to visit again. This time for a full week. Imagine my home, cleansed and welcoming, fire burning in the fireplace, snacks laid out with love. People coming through the front door, one by one. Sitting down with nervous jitters in the pre-moments. Knowing they were up to something big. Pushing through fears and [...]
Daddy’s Last Days
Posted in Aftermaths and In-Betweens, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Shamanic Ceremonies, tagged Afterlife, Ayahuasca, Death, Father, Father's Death, Jesus, Miracles, Shamanic Ceremonies, Shamanism on January 31, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Today is the two year anniversary of Daddy’s death. I’m in a very surprising place – I’m actually overwhelmingly sad. Almost the saddest I’ve been since he took his last breath, and I’m not really sure why. Which is why I’m here, sorting through the waves, finding the core of this, so I might honor [...]
